And I'm Back! || September Summary & Life update.

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5.10.14


It’s been a long time since I last blogged, let alone done a monthly summary, in fact I think the last one was way back in June.
A lot has happened since then, so this is more of a little life update than September summary! Little pre-warning, I’m about to inundate you with a flurry of excuses as to why I’ve not blogged. Again  I don’t plan on 1) moving house 2) changing job 3) getting myself a degree 4) having grieve so I should be back for good now this time.

We shall move onto some positives now i've got the excuses out of the way. September saw me starting a new job. I have no words to express my happiness at handing in my notice at my old job. It was not the best job to put it nicely. Put nastily, I’d rather saw my arm off with a rusty butter knife than work another day there. Not only was the job itself shit, but people’s reactions to finding out what it was I worked was not the best either. Everyone thought you’d instantly know how to solve their woes with the company. Alas, I now have a job which is AWESOME. It has with better hours do no more 5am wake up calls and working weekends for me, I’m a 9-5 gal! It’s also far better pay and the nature of the work is far nicer. I used to wake up in the middle of the night in a massive panic. Panicked that I had to get up in a few hours and drag myself to work somewhere that I had a severe dislike for, but I now actually enjoy going to work. It’s such a relief. It’s had a pretty positive affect on my mental health too. I think if I had to work another month there I’d be the anxious mess I was circa 2013. 

House wise, I’m now completely moved into the new house. It is the first time since moving to the north that I feel that here is where my home is. Before I used to feel I was living between places, going from box to box and home was wherever I was not. Something that comes with the university territory I guess, but I now feel settled. I’m pretty chuffed I’m coping living with a boy. I’d been with Craig for over three years before we moved in together, but nothing can prepare you for living with someone.

No matter how much I love him, there has been several hours of questioning just why it is I decided to live with him. Mainly when he’s ramming his limbs into me whilst he sleeps, his inability to chew quietly and him coming home so drunk on match days he is an arse. That said it is all worth it knowing we’ve achieved our own little home. One that is filled with all our belongings and our own little home comforts. It’s now fairy light and candle season so things will be getting a whole lot cosier too. I've also (thanks to actually now having money so I feel like I can throw orders about like Beyonce) convinced him we're too busy/lazy/care free to have to clean ourselves and need a cleaner. NO MORE CHIPPED NAILS DUE TO SCRUBBING FLOORS.

Things have not been all rosy though. I’ve really been struggling the past month. Life brought me down to earth with a massive, heart breakingly awful bump. My Grandad passed away. I cannot put into words how much hurt and pain it left me with. I loved him with all my heart. He was my hero. The most kind, loving, decent and selfless man you could meet. Nearly every happy memory I have from my childhood was down to him. There were summers where he chased me and my brother around the garden with water pistols whilst we pretended we were cowboys, and his ability to make my marmite toast just the way I like was something no one else could ever master. There will always be such a hole in my life now he is gone. I’m just so relieved he is no longer suffering, as he suffered for far longer than anyone should ever have to.


This year has been full of changes, the last few months especially, and it has reminded me no matter how many good things happen, things can still get crap. I’d convinced myself for 2014 to be a good year, nothing bad could happen. I have achieved so much this year and although some rubbish and  unimaginably hard things have come my way, it doesn’t take that away, I’m just really hoping the year finishes more positively.


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